"The way you respond to any
event is totally up to you."
The sooner you can understand and
believe the previous statement the sooner you'll be in control of your own
life. Any event that may happen to you is neither positive or negative, happy
or sad. All events are Neutral. The response that you have upon experiencing
this neutral event is what creates how it affects you.
"All events are Neutral."
Over 90% of all decisions that we
make are determined by our subconscious processing them according to past
experiences. Once an association is made so we have a point of reference to
understand the event, then a decision is made. Unfortunately most of the
impactful events from your past are also associated with emotion. Emotion is a
very strong bridge that helps determine your present day decision-making.
So the way it works is like this:
Stimuli - Pause - Response. Any time you are confronted by some form of
stimuli, you pause for a moment as you're on-board computer (subconscious mind)
tries to make sense of the stimuli and as a result of the information processed
you then make your decision.
An example would be receiving a
letter from the IRS which in itself is a neutral event. It's just something
that you received. As you pause to reflect on it however you may associate this
letter with the fear of having an audit or possibly having computed you taxes
wrong and owing them more money than you expected. As a result of these
thoughts your response would be anxiety to open the letter as quick as possible
associated with fear and worry.
Another example would be receiving a
phone call in the middle of the night from one of your parents. Your initial
response may be one of worrying that something is wrong or one of them was hurt
or possibly some other type of emergency. What began as a neutral event (the
phone call) once processed created a response of fear.
In both examples the response of
fear was most likely unfounded. The letter from the IRS may have simply been a
balance of how much you've paid for taxes within the last few years. The phone
call from your parents may have just been your mother calling because of
insomnia and wanted someone to speak to.
Although this is a naturally
occurring process with human beings the amount of stress from a given situation
can be reduced greatly through awareness. Realizing that each event is neutral
when it occurs gives you a chance to further ponder your response and thinking
of other possible responses that may be more positive. This can be the difference
between experiencing fear and anger or simply realizing that "it is as it
is". What a way to eliminate fear!
The reason why I mentioned that this
is a naturally occurring process with human beings is that animals do not
process things in the same way. Rather than experiencing an event with the
Stimuli - Pause - Response method they simply process events with Stimuli -
Response.
Upon given a stimuli they respond
immediately. It's more instinctual rather than processing thought as a response
with emotion. An example of this would be if you accidentally stepped on your
cat's tail and in response it turned and scratched your arm to the point of
bleeding. The scratching was an immediate response. It was not done in malice,
revenge or any other form of calculated emotion. In fact within 5 minutes it
may have come back to you showing affection wanting you to pet it again. It
didn't hold a grudge or anger as a result of the event.
We are 100% in control of our
actions and reactions. Because of the victim mentality that the majority of
people experience way too often we tend to blame others for our fortune or
misfortune. It's my hope that from this point forward we learn that everything
is neutral so we may create happier situations for ourselves and those around
us.
Those are the facts, take a moment
to Pause and ponder them and see how you Respond. The choice is yours.